Wednesday, June 13, 2007

My House Smells Like a Subway

The sights and smells of the big city are one of those things that everyone must experience. During your first visit through the bowels of New York the stench of urine adds to the gritty, industrial feel of the city. Sure it's annoying, but it also doesn't seem out of place.

But that smell is not working for me in our house, in the suburbs, in San Diego.

You see we have a four year old vagrant wandering our halls drunk with the sense of power from wielding a fully loaded penis. There must be some visceral pleasure in watching the urine arc and dance about guided by the slightest touch of your hand. Because Garrett is dropping his pants any chance he can get.

Our little hobo has left his mark in the guest bedroom, in Mindy's closet and today in the corner of Ryan's room. Not to mention the many outposts of our yard that have a dull yellow hue to them.

This fascination with peeing is driving me insane. I am obsessed thinking about all the unique, but admittedly cruel, punishments I could impose on Garrett. But I am held in check by a compassionate woman who sees the eternal perspective. (At least that is the line I am fed)

So Mindy is in charge of the punishment and behavior modification and I am in charge of...not doing anything I would regret.

In the meantime visit us this summer for our version of gritty, urban living.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a "Pee Pee" party to me! Oh the joys of parenthood!

Heather C. said...

Funny! We have a similar odor but it's my fault and limited to Thomas' bathroom. He wakes up at night when he has to pee and he's hasn't mastered aiming. I'm not such a good aimer either when it's dark, no cantacts, and I'm groggy. Those penises can be tricky.