I'm still smarting from an incident last week with Paige (11).
Two things happened last year when school started. First Paige's best friend started riding horses, eventually owning a horse and competing on the weekends.
Second, Paige wasn't performing like she should have in math.
When Paige talked to us she always seemed to be pleading for horse riding lessons. And when we talked to her it felt like all we were doing was nagging her about homework.
So we struck a compromise. If she could get straight A's for the year she could take horse riding lessons this summer. Even though it would cost us a small fortune, we thought it would be a bargain if it kept her motivated.
The transformation was almost immediate. Paige began getting 100% on almost every test and she became obsessed with horses. She would often miss out on playing time while she diligently did her homework. Then on the weekends she would frequently go with her friend to the stables. While her friend rode horses she would talk with the trainers and brush down the animals.
Her obsession with horses and good grades continued all year.
The last day of school was a big day for Paige because she was going to have her birthday party the same day.
She described it as the best day ever as her and 9 friends went to a Trampoline Gym to jump and play. They cam home to learn Jump Roping tricks from a professional jump roper and then finished off the day with a DVD and hot dogs.
After all the kids had left Paige was excited to open her report card from school and claim her reward. The perfect ending to her day.
She sat on my lap as she opened the report.
Tears quickly filled her eyes - there was a B+.
She cried and cried and cried.
I was crushed. She had worked so hard for this.
Her B+ was in creative writing. If you know Paige you know how imaginative she is, which is a problem when you try and put too many ideas and plot lines into one short story. Both Mindy and I had looked over her paper and could have easily sat down and edited (re-written it) it. But we didn't, we let her do it on her own.
After she went to bed Mindy and I agonized over what to do. Mindy thought we should stay firm because it was a great lesson to learn. I was ready to give in and get the horse lessons. We decided to sleep on it.
It has been a week. Paige hasn't mentioned it again and is moving on with life.
I can't stop thinking about it.
9 comments:
I'm not sure if you are looking for people to weigh in the matter. But I say give Paige the riding lessons. I still hold a grudge against my parents for never giving me horse riding lessons when all I had to make was straight "C's." In a similar twist I got a surprise "B" in drivers ed and my parents didn't give in. I will never forgive them. Were was the spirit of the law Peg?
I just think you are cute parents. Incentives are good either way I think... but that should almost be a children's book.
Maybe Peg should have actually bribed Jake into getting good grades... we had the most hilarious cocktail parties pouring over his "writing"... good times.
liked this entry a lot...well, all of your entries, for that matter.
i suppose now is as good a time as any to confess that I completely hijacked your method of bolding and enlarging font sizes in my entries. let me know if I owe you royalties.
But her math improved right? Riding lessons for the summer do not a year's worth make--let her do it for a couple months (seriously all it took to cure me of horse-itis) because she did so well, AND incorporate some jobs around the house to make up for the B+...perhaps mowing the lawn!
That's one great kid you got there.
She should get lessons just for sucking it up! Too sad!
ooo, I guess I'm a mean Mom but I'm right there with Mindy, I think it's an AWESOME lesson to learn!
Mindy and I already discussed this. We didn't give in to our kid who got one B either. Of course, ours is a teenager with a whole different attitude problem but I digress...
I say you gotta stick with the original agreement because if you don't she WILL turn it back on you later when she doesn't get all the A's but is expecting her reward. I know it's hard to imagine her as teenager but it will happen.
However, we did offer our teenager a smaller reward as positive reinforcement for the effort and all the other A's. Maybe that's an option for you guys???
So here is another thing to consider: My oldest sister became obsessed with horses at the age of 4. She is now 32 and a professional horse trainer... makes a great living at it too. I can second that it is one of the most expensive hobbies a person can have. It started with lessons, then it moved to a horse purchase, boarding fees, feeding, bridals, saddles, accessories, vet bills, silver for the bridals and saddles, horse shows, horse trailer, a new truck to pull the horse trailer, many week long horse shows in different states,..... I can remember my sister shoveling horse shit for days and days when she was Paige's age to earn free lessons. Personally, I like to stay as far away from horses as possible.. except of course when I visit my sister. Did I mention she lives on a horse ranch? Good Luck. I like Shari's idea. Maybe an unexpected something something or "date with dad" so she knows the hard work is important and appreciated.
Post a Comment