Panic and Pandemonium

Several months ago I noticed rat droppings surrounding our trash cans.

Like any good man of the house I resolved to annihilate these vermin. I headed to the hardware store and selected my tools for battle. I bought one of anything that had the words "kill, destroy, maim, asphyxiate, exterminate," etc.

I began my reign of blood and horror with rat poison. I set a tray beside my trash can that evening.


In the morning it was gone!

I replaced it with a new tray and again the next morning it had all been eaten. I ditched my other instruments of death and bought more rat poison. They kept eating and I gleefully replenished the supply.

About a week into this we wondered when we would see a dead rat. I wanted the side of my house littered with little dead bodies. But alas only one, rather large, dead rat showed up.

But my rat poison kept disappearing so I kept restocking, but the fun just wasn't there. What fun is killing little creatures if you can't stand over and admire your mayhem and destruction.

Finally the trays of rat poison remained untouched.

I moved on to gentler, kinder pursuits but I always wondered where the bodies where.

Yesterday Mindy was talking with our next door neighbor who moved in about 6 months ago. As she asked how they were liking the house and the neighborhood he became animated and explained that he was a little worried about something and was ready to contact the authorities.

He described how he had discovered dozens of dead rats in his backyard and was worried that the cause of their death was West Nile Virus.

Mindy started laughing so hard she couldn't talk for a few minutes. Her outburst and subsequent explanation saved a call to the Center for Disease Control.

I on the other hand would have held my mirth and waited for the guys in space suits to show up and carefully carry out each of my victims to be autopsied.

Now that would have been fun!!

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Remember this previous story about rats? Click Here!